Cotton Candy Kisses of Death

Elliott Smith.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:14:24 GMT

Everybody cares, everybody understands
Yes, everybody cares about you
Yeah, and whether or not you want them to
It's a chemical embrace that kicks you in the head
To a pure synthetic sympathy that infuriates you totally
And a quiet lie that makes you want to scream and shout

So here I lay dreaming, looking at the brilliant sun
Raining its guiding light upon everyone
For a moment's rest you can lean against the banister
After running upstairs again and again
From wherever they came to fix you in

But always fear the city's finest follow right behind
You got a pretty vision in your head
A pencil full of poison lead
And a sickened smile illegal in every town

So here I lay dreaming, looking at the brilliant sun
Raining its guiding light upon everyone
Here I lay dreaming, looking at the brilliant sun
Raining its guiding light upon everyone

You say you mean well, you don't know what you mean
Fucking out to stay the hell away
From things you know nothing about

Effington.

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:46:21 GMT

If there's a God, He is laughing at us and our football team.

Hello again.

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:13:05 GMT

It's amazing what a summer can do.
Or perhaps it's what you can do in a summer.
I'm a vague silhouette of the person I was a year ago.
I may look the same at first glance, but a closer look changes everything...
...And that's all it took for me to change.
[That near-death experience is probably also partly responsible.]

I know who I was, and I know who I am now.
[A worthy, courageous, and aware woman with limitless potential, with lots of quirks in between.]
I know what I want.
Lovelovelove.
Joyjoyjoy.
I'm not living the life of an oxymoron anymore.
It takes so much more energy to be negative than to be positive.
Why continually strive to be perfect than to just embrace who I am?

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Broken glasses.

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 05:12:08 GMT

This week wasn't so good. I've certainly had better days. When I think about it, this semester wasn't so good, and I don't see it getting any better before it's over. I just need to survive the next two weeks, and then it'll all be over. I've got a lot of work to do before then. That's what happens when you're a slacker. Oh, woe is me.

Promising Light.

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:40:30 GMT

Time and all you gave
I was the jerk who preferred the sea
To tussling in the waves
Tugging your skirt, singing please, please, please

But now I see love
Tracked on the floor where you walked outside
Now I see love
Looking for you in this other girl's eyes

Time and all you took
Only my freedom to fuck the whole world
Promising not to look
Promising light on the sidewalk girls

But now I see love
There in your car where I said those things
Now I see love
Tugging your skirt, singing please, please, please

Time and all you gave
There on your cross that I never saw
Well beyond the waves
Dunking my head when I heard you call

But now I see love
There in the sea where you pinched my leg
Now I see love
There on your side of my empty bed

Between Halloweens.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:09:35 GMT

Apartment complex reeks of old takeout Chinese.

I'm thinking of sneaking out once everyone's asleep and driving to the old cemetery down the road to chain smoke cigarettes.

Today, my dad told me I was dressed like an old man.

Tomorrow, I'm going to New York City.

The day after, who knows what will come my way.

I'm the queen of album leaks.
The Matches' new album drops in late March, and Murder by Death's drops in three weeks.
I got both of them.

You'll get what you're deserving of.

Another year.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:06:49 GMT

So, it's a new year. It's going well so far. Let's recap what's going down in my world...

I have nothing to say about school, so I'm just going to skip it. It's going fine. Whatever.

I've been working out for times a week, doing cardio. Pilates will be added to my exercise regimen when phase two begins. That'll be whenever I decide to add it. I don't do timelines.

I'm going to be twenty-one years old in less than a month. I'll be hanging in Boston with Caitlin, Mike, and Murder by Death. It'll be a great time. I'm going to rock out and party my face [and probably also my pants] off. Yessssss.

Hanging out with new people is always interesting. I've been meeting some really chill people, and eating some great apple pie.

Jager bomb, anyone?

The past.

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 03:58:01 GMT

Eight years ago today, my dad and I left Alberta for the United States.

Damn, what an eight years it's been.

And I'm back in Canada again? What the hell?

Ho ho ho.

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 11:28:50 GMT

Happy Christmas.

I'm twenty years old. This is my twenty-first Christmas.

In a way, I wish I'd never found out that Santa Claus wasn't real.

Maybe the Christmas magic would still be in the air, so to speak.

Ah, well. Either way...PRESENTS!!!

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 15:11:11 GMT

Someone might have to explain to me why I find this to be so friggen' hilarious.

Volleyball Team Finds Deer Carcass On Bus

SAN ANTONIO -- A girl's high school volleyball team was shocked to find a bloody deer carcass on their bus after a game against a rival.

Members of the Comfort High School Whitetail Deer volleyball team came across the remains of a dead deer after playing a game against Blanco High School.

A sister of a Comfort High School student said she believes students from Blanco High School placed the carcass on the bus as a prank.

"That is very inappropriate, I just couldn't believe it," Laura Lozano said. "(My sister) was just so surprised that they would do something like that."

Lozano said the rivalry between the two schools is deeply seated.

"We had actually beat them last year at their homecoming, so I guess that's where a lot of the rivalry really kicked in," she said.

Tasha Brieger, a former Blanco student, said she doesn't believe Blanco High School students pulled the prank.

"Blanco's a really close-knit town," she said. "We're pretty easy going, we get along with pretty much anybody and that doesn't sound like something we would do."

A letter of apology was sent to Comfort High School immediately following the incident.

The principal of Blanco High School said he's disappointed and made it clear to students that this type of behavior won't be tolerated.

http://www.ksat.com/news/14374343/detail.html

NOW HEAR THIS.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 14:44:44 GMT

I'm pretty much done with this whole LiveJournal thing. Don't expect any more entries from me. I'll keep it just so I can view Christopher's beautiful photo entries, and friends-only entries of my friends. I'm sure you're all very disappointed that you won't be able to read my crap anymore, but I'm sure you'll survive.

Have a good one.

P.S. There is a guy playing the tuba on the sidewalk in front of my house. What the fuck, it's ten-thirty in the morning. I hope it isn't that crazy AAA truckdriver whose phone calls I stopped returning.

Boston Globe Article - 8/21/06

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:36:37 GMT

The Boston Globe
August 21, 2006

Roxbury, MA (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Boston courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his Parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with h er. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Boston Red Sox, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone.

------- Harharhar. So fake, yet so true.

I always trip on my clumsy heart.

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 07:13:28 GMT

So I'm back in Mtl. Classes haven't started yet, but I already know that things are going to be so different from last year. I really like my roommates and I feel comfortable around them. I don't feel excluded at all, and that's so refreshing. Classes start after Labor Day and I suppose I'm looking forward to that. At least I won't be bored as shit every day like I am now. We were going to go to Foufs tonight, but the guys decided not to go just because I wasn't going so we stayed here, drank and smoked a bowl. After everyone went to sleep, Tim and I watched some Aqua Teen and Family Guy...good times. And now I'm the only one who's awake. I guess I should sleep. Or read "A Million Little Pieces." Or make out with someone. But who? Hmmm...

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 10:29:42 GMT

Ughhh. It's way too early to be awake. I don't want to go. Give me a few more hours of sleep.

I can't forget where I am now.

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 06:42:13 GMT

I thought I was going to be excited to go back to Mtl. But upon further consideration, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave home yet. It feels like I just got here. I look back at the past four months and ask myself, what the hell did I do? Is there anything even worth mentioning? The answer is no. I barely saw any of my friends, and I only went into the city a couple of times. All I have to show for this summer is a pair of Lucky Brand jeans and a toe infection. Fuck you for not helping to make my summer cool by hanging out with me.

Hoorah!

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 04:09:57 GMT

I'm going to an amusement park tomorrow and I'm so ridiculously excited, I can't even describe it. The best part is that I'm getting paid to go. Yes, that's right, I'm going to make $100 going on rides at an amusement park for an afternoon. You wish you were me. Admit it.

Exercise and malnutrition keep curves tight, 'cause all that matters is what's outside.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 04:12:32 GMT

I just got my grubby hands on a leaked copy of The Matches' upcoming album, "Decomposer," and let me just say that it's absolutely fucking perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better follow-up to "E. Von Dahl Killed the Locals." The albums are completely different from each other, but that's what I love about them. On the new one, the band goes in a million different directions with each song and it somehow works beautifully. Most of you who are reading this because you actually know me have probably listened to The Matches because I forced you to at one point or another, or perhaps on various occasions, so you should check out this new album. Ask me if you want a YSI link to the entire album.

Art is meant to be seen; not felt, not heard.

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 06:45:05 GMT

It's been an odd night. I've talked to people I haven't been in touch with in over a year, and I've had some very interesting conversations. But it's all in good fun, you can only expect this after an evening of margaritas and martinis. And tequila shots. In other news, I'm pretty sure that Shawn Harris and I are meant to be together. It's only a matter of time until he decides to move to the east coast and we'll get married and have insanely passionate, hot sex and never have children. Just have hot sex until we die. And maybe get married sometime between now and when we die, we'll see what happens. But seriously, he is gorgeous. And so fucking talented. I wish I could read his mind and what he thinks when he writes.

Last night, Lauren and I went to see The Matches. Needless to say, it was a great show. One of the opening bands, New London Fire, was really good. And their bassist reminded me so much of P.B. (or Monkey Boy to some of you), it was insane. Except he was much better looking. And more talented. The other opening band sucked. Their vocalist looked like Ryan Cabrera, minus the porcupine hair. It was nuts. Even ask Lauren, she'll agree with me. We had a pretty good after-show dinner at Orems...calamari, mozzarella sticks and milkshakes. Can't get any better than that.

Mike is sleeping in the guest room with the door open and I'm blaring Zeppelin, I guess I should try to quiet down now. Bah. Maybe I'll read some more of "Franny and Zooey." But for some reason, it's not really grabbing me. "Catcher in the Rye" is so much better.

If there's one good thing I've learned in the past twenty-four hours, it's to never assume a guy is kidding if he asks to pick your nose. No joke.

Shut up, chirping birds.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 14:09:52 GMT

I hate waking up early for a specific reason, only to find out after you've showered and there is no way you'll be able to get back to sleep that you no longer need to be awake that early. What the fuck. Oh well, at least Lauren is coming to visit me tonight. That makes me happy.

But being awake at 10:00 am doesn't.

Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:39:55 GMT

1. Would you marry for money?
- Nah.

2. Have you had braces?
- Ohhh yes. If I never had braces, I wouldn't be able to smile without getting my upper lip caught on top of my eyeteeth, and I'd have a gap in between my front teeth so big that I'd be able to fit my tongue through it. Gross.

3. Could you live without a computer?
- If I absolutely had to.

4. If you could live in any past time period, where would it be?
- Probably the 1960s.

5. Do you drink enough water?
- I doubt it.

6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take 'em off?
- Canadians don't wear shoes in their houses. Seriously.

7. What are your favorite fruits?
- Blueberries, raspberries, cantaloupe, bananas, and peaches.

8. What is your favorite place to visit?
- My mother's house, for some reason.

9. Are you photogenic?
- Not anymore.

10. Do you dream in color or black and white?
- Color.

11. Why are you taking this survey?
- Because I don't feel like doing Pilates.

12. Do you drink alcohol?
- Not much since I got home, but that'll all change when I get back to Mtl.

13. What is the most beautiful language?
- German. Don't ask.

14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?
- I have no idea. I'd be asleep when it happened.

15. Which do you like more: Sunrise or sunset?
- I like the sunrise when I haven't gone to sleep yet, but most of the time I prefer sunset.

16. Do you want to live until you're 100 yrs old? .
- If I still feel as though I have a purpose in life, then sure.

17. What time did you fall asleep last night?
- Earlyish, around midnight.

18. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights switched on or off?
- Lights off.

19. Do you believe in magic?
- Uhhh...no.

20. Do you have a favorite radio show?
- I never, ever listen to the radio. Ever.

21. Do you like sports?
- I like NCAA basketball and NHL hockey. And pro lacrosse. That's it.

22. Do you like to watch cartoons?
- Aqua Teen and Family Guy are two of my favorite shows. So yes.

23. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
- Eh, I was nine or so.

24. Do you write poems?
- No. I'm terrible at it.

25. Do you snore?
- I talk.

26. You sleep more on your back, front or sides?
- On my stomach, I think.

27. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
- Black lab, thanks.

28. Are you basically a happy person?
- Sure. I have no reason not to be happy.

29. Are you tired?
- Of being a crappy waitress.

30. Did you drink anything with caffeine?
- Not as of late. I've tried to cut down.

31. How many phones/cellphones do you have in your house?
- Three phones, one cell.

32. Do you get along with your parents?
- My mom tends to bother me a lot, but my dad and Rebecca are pretty chill.

33. Do you smoke?
- Nah.

34. Do you have a kitty?
- Fuck no.

35. Have you ever had a birthday party?
- Plenty of them.

36. What do you do when you're sad?
- Write. Or snuggle with Coco and Cosmo.

37. What do you want most right now?
- For someone to cook me an amazing, healthy dinner.

38. What song are you listening to now?
- My own sniffles. Allergies suck.

39. What are you craving right now?
- To go out tonight.

I think I've got a feeling I'm lost inside.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 05:09:21 GMT

After watching "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" for the first time, I have to admit I don't get why everyone loves that movie so much. I didn't think it was that great. Movies with too much singing turn me off automatically, though, so maybe I'm biased. Eh, whatever. I hung out with Mike tonight. We wanted to go to Olive Garden but the wait was forty-five minutes - and my question is, why is there always such a fucking long wait to get a table at that restaurant? The food is mediocre at best, and there isn't anything special about the place. It makes sense for Olive Garden to be that busy in Warwick because there's so many Guidos in Rhode Island, but Danbury? Come on. Guidos make up a tiny minority of the population here. I'm just baffled. We went to Uno, which was alright. It was good conversation and good company, and that's all that matters.

Lauren Ritz is coming on Friday. So excited.

I <3 Johnny Depp.

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 02:54:22 GMT

Two updates in the same day. That's insane. But I felt compelled to share my thoughts on "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." Simply put, I fucking loved the movie. The fact that it's the second installment of a trilogy of films justifies the end leaving me hanging there, wanting more. Plus, the action, excitement, and sword fights make it worth going to see in the theatre, since the big screen seems to make it even better. And come on, the movie has fucking Johnny Depp in it. I don't care who you are or what you say, deep inside your loins you know you totally want to violate him. Or maybe for him to violate you. Gahhh, I can't wait for the last movie to come out.

If you haven't seen the movie yet, go see it right now.

Too. Hot. Outside.

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 19:03:26 GMT

It's stupid how I can be so bitter about the smallest things that shouldn't even affect me. I guess it just reminds me of the fact that I'm not anyone's one and only, instead I'm just alone.

That said, my parents are going to be in Mexico for two weeks from late July to early August. Who wants to come hang out with me during that time? I don't want to be by myself in the house. It's dark and scary at night.

I love the intro to this song.

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 21:06:02 GMT

I read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. It was a good, quick read. Now I'm reading "The Birth of Venus" by Sarah Dunant, which I think is going to be interesting. I have no idea what it's about, since I didn't read the summary on the inside of the book jacket. I'd rather be surprised than know what to expect. Makes the reading experience better.

When I read the entry about finally getting enough work hours, it's kind of funny because I got fired from one of those jobs the next day and quit another. Right now, I only have one of my three original summer jobs and added a babysitting gig. They're both going alright, though. The two kids I babysit are kind of annoying, but when I get paid thirteen bucks an hour to watch them swim in their backyard pool, I can't complain.

Now that I have the job thing under control, I need to get back in shape for fall semester. Awww, Coco just curled up and fell asleep in my lap...which is flabby and desperately needs to be toned.

ATTENTION CHRIS MOORE...

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 23:21:08 GMT

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY, YOU SEXY BITCH!

I LOVE YOU! <333333